Visual Changes

OK…I’ll admit that I’m somewhat vain. And really, it’s not that I’m vain because I’m beautiful – it’s because I’m not beautiful. I’m average-looking, at best, but I know it, and have come to terms with it. However, I feel that since I am average-looking and 50 years of age, I need to do whatever I can to keep those looks from slipping.

I’ve started getting laser treatments – I no longer have to shave under my arms, the bikini area is almost gone, and my leg hair has almost completely disappeared – I only shave once every couple of weeks. Pretty awesome.
I spend a lot of money on hair products. I have super-thick, long hair with lots of natural wave…and lots of natural frizz, so I’m constantly fighting to keep it looking good.

I spend even more money on facial products. Clinique and I were best friends for a long time, with Avon dropping in to visit occasionally, but I’m afraid they’ve both been replaced.

The med-spa where I get lasered (is that a word yet??) also does chemical peels, microdermabrasion, and other lovely facial treatments that I’ve yet to experience, but that are coming up in the near future. They also sell this line of products called Visual Changes. I knew that they’d be expensive before I asked, but understand that this med-spa is in a very ritzy part of town. I questioned the wisdom of spending $378(!) for facial products but I figured if those wealthy women are using this stuff (and we all know how well they seem to hold up), well then darlin…I’m gonna be right there with them.

I brought the products home last night and lined them up according to the order of usage. I used each one according to the directions and wondered how long it would be before I saw results.

Imagine my surprise when I got up this morning and looked in the mirror and I swear – at least two years has disappeared from my face. I can’t wait to see what happens over the next week!

Coincidentally, and I didn’t realize it until just now when I looked at one of the bottles – these products are manufactured in my home town in California. I’m going to take it as a sign 😉

Dear Husband

As I sit here, listening to you snoring, I am so utterly and thoroughly unhappy that I'm thinking seriously of leaving your ass.

When we moved in together 3 years ago, I saw how much drinking you really did and told you that I hated it. That if you got drunk, you could definitely expect to not get laid. You've gotten pretty used to that by now.

I don't know how many discussions we've had about your drinking, but I know it's been many. It's gotten worse since we moved to this community, where our house seems to be party central, and you're drinking every night. We've made deal after deal, and you've sworn to quit drinking at least three times…until the next time you pick up a beer.

But tonight, when you tried to blame ME for you getting drunk…I saw red. I explained to you then that you were not allowed, not now, not ever, to blame me for your drinking. That if you were going to be a drunk, you were going to have to take responsibility for it, because no way was I going to.

I hate that only two years into our marriage, I'm actually thinking about leaving you…but I am. If we divorce, you're going to lose this house that you love so much – not because I'm going to take it from you – but because you won't be able to afford it alone. I love you so much for the intelligent, gentle and kind man that you are…even when you're drunk, amazingly enough. I just wish that you could see what your drinking is doing to us. I wish you would hear my heart breaking each time I bring it up to you, trying to get you to understand, and how you're destroying everything that we've worked so hard for.

I wish you loved me enough to stop.

Just me

My DH and I have another blog, telling about our life in our new home, but I find that I have to censor it on many levels. I want a little piece of the world where I can still be myself. So here I am.